Being in love with your spouse is easy, but keeping love alive in your marriage is something that you have to worked on. It’s like gardening, although you planted the seeds and know that the rain and sun do most of the work, you still have to pull the weeds of the garden, fertilize it and water it if there isn’t enough rain to keep your garden alive.
I believe that is same with a loving and healthy marital relationship. It is taken care of and supported daily, when love becomes a high priority in marriage.
Love seems to have a life of its own in the start of a relationship. Without much effort, you seem like you are on top of the world. You see yourself laughing and smiling often, and feeling warm inside and full of happiness when you are with your loved one.
Everything seems better and through the rose-colored glasses of love. This blissful feeling does not last forever. However, after the first year of marriage, the daily task of being married, raising a family, working in a job, keep up a home and so on..all take their toll and romance takes a back seat.Being in love with your spouse is easy, but keeping love alive in your marriage is something that you have to worked on. Click To Tweet
And today, I’d love to share with you the 5 Essential Guide On How To Keep Love Alive In Your Marriage.
1. Make Time
Don’t take it for granted if your spouse will always be there when you want them. No matter how busy you are, take some effort to choose a quality time with your spouse.
Whatever happens, find ways to make time for each other. Also, don’t forget to hug or kiss each other often, you will be glad you did. The moment you invest together will certainly re-spark you and make you feel great for the rest of the day.
If you can’t go out on a date with your spouse, you can still do it at home. Set some unique and romantic date nights at home with your partner after the kids are asleep. The essential thing to remember is that just have fun together.
Here are few things you can plan and prepare for a home date night together:
- Watch a favorite tv show or movie together and make popcorn or your favorite nigh snack together.
- Play a favorite card or board game, any games that both of you will have fun together.
- Pour a favorite drink, make an ice cream sundae, or grab some cookies, and have fun talking about how’s each other’s days or about loved ones.
- Play some soft music in the background, have a sweet conversation, remembering the date nights when you were just started dating and maybe even dance together.
- Tell your spouse how special they are to you (Use these times to tell him things like how intelligent, how loving, caring, thoughtful, etc.)
What is romance? Definition of Romance from Wikipedia:
“Romance is an emotional feeling of love for, or a strong attraction towards, another person, and the courtship behaviors undertaken by an individual to express those overall feelings and resultant emotions.”
This is an opportunity to show your spouse how special he or she is to you. I believe this implies of taking the time, and making the time, even if you are too busy and you don’t have it.
It doesn’t mean thinking about yourself only, or having only your demands fulfilled. It’s making your marriage a priority and putting each other first.
Here are some ideas to spice up and re-spark your romance:
- Say “Thank you” and “I love you” often.
- Do small act of kindness, like give him or her a little gift, write a romantic love notes, give him or her flowers, etc.
Here’s my FREE Romantic Love Notes Printable for you. These are mini cards that you can print easily and give this to your spouse, and this will surely tickle him or her and re-spark your love alive again.
- Share jokes at meal time. Remember, laughter is a fantastic way to share one’s love.
- Take a long walk together – anywhere.
- Hug and kiss often
- Check out a museum, visit a neighborhood festival, or attend a lecture together.
Don’t assume that your spouse can read your mind. Let him or her know what you like. If you like flowers for your birthday, and you haven’t gotten them, then just let him know specially when he asks you what you would like.
However, don’t expect too much and demand too much when you know your spouse has limited resources to give the things you want. Just learn to appreciate even small things that he can do for you.
What matters most is that he did something genuine for you and that keeps the romance and love alive in your marital relationship.
I strongly believe that communication is the strong foundation of any relationship most especially in marriage. Over time, we learn and discover how to read our spouse.
The way they act, think, and their behavior, are essential clues that alert us how they feel. Sometimes, or often we know what’s in their mind, and we become sloppy, and don’t talk about it, or they don’t bring it up.
For example, if he had a bad day at work, and you know how he reacts when he gets home. Welcome him to relax, as dinner is prepared, then after ask him how was his day.
Sooner or later, you will find out what happened and that helps him vent out his feelings. It is very important that you will take some time to sit and listen with your partner.
Sometimes, communication doesn’t always require a feedback or an advice, sometimes simply just being there is what matters most. Someone they can talk to, and who would listen to them is very important part of keeping the love alive in marriage.
Here are things to avoid that bring more intense and anger in your relationship:
- Criticism – Try and prevent criticizing your spouse. If there is something bothering you, then express it in such a way that you don’t blame or point fingers at him.
- Communicate how you feel, how his actions affected you, and how you were hurt by his actions. And remember this, NEVER ever criticize your spouse in public.
- Hunger – If your spouse hasn’t eaten for a while, not only their tummy growls, but their attitude growl also. Keep him well fed but not overfed.
- Tiredness – If your husband has actually been working all day, and you ask him to do a lot of house chores when he gets home, then don’t expect him to say thank you. Plan the duties and spread the chores out, planning ahead, helps right here.
4. Look After Your Body
You may not look like you did when you were just started dating years ago, however, you can take measures to look as good if not better.
Taking care of yourself, will not just keep the love alive in your marriage, but it will also make you feel good about yourself.
- Physical well-being – make certain you stay in a healthy lifestyle, have a balance diet, and dress nicely. All these actions not only get more compliments from your husband, but you feel good about yourself as well and you will become happier and more confident.
- Spiritual well-being – Do not forget this powerful aspect of life. Whatever your faith and believe in, keep it in your marriage life. I strongly believe in studies shown that families pray together, stay together.
- Mental well-being – If you are a stay-at-home mom, find some great books to read to improve yourself as a wife or a mother. If you are a working mother, take some time like maybe 10 minutes every day to read some good books or magazines. This will certainly enable you to maintain abreast with interesting ideas or topics, and offer your husband an interesting partner to talk about life issues with.
Related Post: Top 5 Best Books That Will Transform Your Marriage
5. Don’t Substitute
Never substitute anyone or anything else for your loved one. Do not go to a friend, relative or coworker, and share your intimate secrets, because this may an indication that you are betraying your loved one’s trust.
Don’t watch television, be on your computer or mobile phone all the time, and spending most of your time on social media a lot and not spending quality time with your spouse.
As a mother, you may be spending all your time with your kids and ignoring your husband. Remember to balance your time with your children’s and with your spouse.
Put your spouse first, and he should be on your number one list. When you put your spouse first, you will begin to notice that you don’t need to be going to other people for emotional support.
You will also notice that you are having more fun with your husband. Don’t underestimate the significance of keeping love alive in marriage. Cherish and nurture every moment of it, and you will have made the best investment in your life.
And there you go, those are my tips and advice for keeping the love alive in your marriage. How about you? How do you keep love alive in your marriage? I would love to hear and learn from you! Please share in the comment below. Thank you!
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